One of the things I hear a lot from divorced men and women is that they don’t know what they want. I can certainly relate to that feeling. However, I don’t think it as much that we don’t know what we want as it is a certainty that we know what we don’t want. First and foremost we just don’t want to go through that feeling of being in a relationship that is failing and not knowing how to fix it. And, if the relationship fails and we happen to be married, we don’t want to feel trapped.
Some of the books I have read suggest that you are supposed to be content being single before looking for a relationship. That never has made any sense to me because if you are content why go through all the bother of looking for someone? Most of the single people I know seem to be constantly looking for that right person. But that is the rub, isn’t it? How do we find that right person, the one that we both love and are comfortable with and who won’t change over time? I think when people say they don’t know what they want they are really saying that
they don’t know how to find that right person or they are just tired of the process. So we may not be as happy as we could be but we know we are happier than if we were with the wrong person.