The Magic of a Relationship Between Two Free Thinking Introverts

As an INTJ I love thinking about the world as it exists and why it is the way it is. There is really nothing that is beyond examination.

A few weeks ago I received a comment that contained a question that started my mulling juices flowing. That question was in regards to the ideal relationship partner for an INTJ.

I think there are two characteristics that each person should have and that is to be an introvert and to be a free thinker. Beyond that there are can be a balance of interests and also normal relationship things like mutual love and respect but it is the combination of introversion and free thinking that establishes a strong foundation for the relationship.

Let’s first consider what it means to be introvert. It does not mean a person is shy but it does mean that he or she needs their own space to recharge their batteries. It can be very frustrating in a relationship, and I know this from personal experience, when the person you are with interprets your need for space to mean that you are pulling away from them and the relationship. That is not it at all and it is really only another introvert that just “gets it” without the need for a lot of explanation.

I have seen some articles that suggest that if an introvert and an extrovert get together it creates a good balance in a relationship. I was married to an extreme extrovert for 26 years and I can confirm that there certainly was some efficiency related to our marriage because of our differences but there was a lot of frustration also.

I don’t think it is efficiency we want in our relationships. We want a connection. So other than being with an introvert we need to be with a free thinker. Obviously, and almost by definition, it doesn’t mean that we will always agree with the other person. However it will mean that we see in that other person a lively mind and the willingness to not accept the status quo. At its best the relationship will be dynamic with each person being proud of and admiring the other.

Of course there is a danger that different ideas about sensitive topics such as religion or politics could eventually cause a divide that can’t be repaired. However I think on balance those that are free thinking introverts will respect a certain diversity of thought more than they will care about the conclusions. Besides, with us our conclusions are likely to be constantly shifting anyway!

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