I don’t think there is enough emphasis given to the differences between someone who is a commitment phobe versus someone who is commitment resistant. It is an important distinction, because I think there is a better opportunity to overcome resistance than there is to overcome a phobia. A commitment phobe’s problems likely stem from early … More Commitment Phobe or Commitment Resistant?
I started trying to learn about relationships a little bit before my divorce twelve years ago. I suppose, as an INTJ personality type, that I am drawn to difficult problems. Understanding how relationships work, and how they fail, certainly fits into that category. I have learned a lot in the past twelve years, and I … More Learning About Relationships Can Drive You Crazy
I wouldn’t date me if I were a woman. I hope that doesn’t come across in a “woe is me” sort of way. It is just a statement of fact based on how I have changed over the last 11 years since my divorce. Some changes just kind of happened and others arose out of … More Why Women Get Frustrated with Older Men
Well, here goes. Although my whole blog has been dedicated to the idea that I am going to share my ideas based on external observations and reflection on my innermost thoughts I am really going out on a limb this time. Today I want to provide a definition of mature love. Like I said in … More What is Mature Love?
As an INTJ I love thinking about the world as it exists and why it is the way it is. There is really nothing that is beyond examination. A few weeks ago I received a comment that contained a question that started my mulling juices flowing. That question was in regards to the ideal relationship … More The Magic of a Relationship Between Two Free Thinking Introverts
If you are a woman that feels like you have been jerked around by a committment phobe (allow me to use CP for short) only to have the CP run away at some point may have a hard time thinking of him as nice. However, bear with me for a bit and let me share … More A Commitment Phobe that Appears Selfish Could Just be too Nice!
The first thing I need to do is to say how much I dislike the word phobic in this context. To me a phobia is an irrational fear. There is nothing irrational about being afraid of marriage when there is a 50% divorce rate and a good percentage of those that are still married feel … More Some Advice to Women About Commitment Phobic Men
I received a comment a few weeks ago that really made me think. The comment related to my post on cycling behavior and the suggestion was that narcissism and commitment phobia had to be on the same spectrum because of how cold a phobic can become during the separation part of the cycle. Although I … More Being Selfish Doesn’t Make a Commitment Phobic a Narcissist
The short answer is of course it does, at least by the commonly accepted definition of a commitment phobic. For those who don’t know what I am talking about the INTJ refers to my personality type according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The first time I took a personality test and read what this profile … More Does my INTJ Personality Contribute to my Commitment Phobia?
I suppose the reason I am so intrigued by relationships is I have come to see them as a giant puzzle that can’t be solved. So when I come across a piece that just doesn’t even fit in the puzzle I become even more intrigued and I have to examine it. One such piece is … More If You Want a Secure Relationship try a Day to Day LAT Relationship