Cycling behavior is unfortunately something I have a lot of first hand experience with and it is not pleasant. The result is instability in a relationship and it has caused my girlfriends to feel like they were on an emotional roller coaster. The root cause of my behavior is the combination of being a commitment … More Why Commitment Phobics Exhibit Cycling Behavior
I am a commitment phobic. There I said it. I am not sure I like the word phobic because to be afraid of an institution that fails at least half the time doesn’t seem unreasonable. However I am often told I am one so I will accept it. I wasn’t always this way. I got … More Confessions of a Commitment Phobic and What Women Need to Know
In one month I will have been divorced 10 years. It is kind of hard to believe. I really didn’t expect to be divorced this long. As I reflect back on my life which by nature and inclination I often do I realize that I am now entering my fourth major life transition. Each one … More How it Feels to Enter my Fourth Life Transition
I am tired of being codependent. I am going to do a complete makeover and become a narcissist. Now all I have to do is find which classes I should take so I can become a narcissist and start life fresh! I guess there are a few reasons for this. I will try to hit … More I think I want to be a narcissist
I remember the first time I fell in love. I think her name was Becky but I won’t swear to it. We met on a church bus trip and she was from a nearby town. We talked for a bit and I was enamored and then she took a drink from what must have been … More Do We Learn More or Less About Love as We Age?
I like to think in terms of continuums when I start labeling people. When it comes to narcissism I have always thought of the person that is extremely narcissistic as being on one end of a selfishness continuum and the codependent, because so many codependents are good caregivers, being on the other end. The middle … More Are Codependents Actually Narcissists with Filters?
I suppose I should start by providing a definition of what an all-in guy is and does. It is a term I came up with at some point during all this post divorce mulling and thrashing around for a guy that puts a relationship first and does what it takes to make it work. Now … More Are All-in Guys Doing What Comes Naturally for Them?
The more I think about it the more it seems like a significant indicator in the long term success of a relationship is whether or not there is a balance of giving. By that I mean is each partner comfortable with how much they give and also get within the relationship? By this definition staying … More The Balance of Giving
The male Narcissist is a natural predator. He has a built in desire to win so he can maintain his tenuous grasp on superiority. More often than not he is going to go after the easiest prey of all: the unhappily married woman. Let’s face it. At its best marriage is not easy. Marriage … More The Narcissist is a Predator and Married Women are the Prey
I like to separate out those things which are natural human behaviors from those that exist primarily due to cultural influences. Marriage is an interesting one to grapple with. Let’s start with the basics. I think it is natural that two people meet and develop this thing we call “falling in love.” What that is … More How Many Relationships has Marriage Ruined?