I like to think in terms of continuums when I start labeling people. When it comes to narcissism I have always thought of the person that is extremely narcissistic as being on one end of a selfishness continuum and the codependent, because so many codependents are good caregivers, being on the other end. The middle … More Are Codependents Actually Narcissists with Filters?
I suppose I should start by providing a definition of what an all-in guy is and does. It is a term I came up with at some point during all this post divorce mulling and thrashing around for a guy that puts a relationship first and does what it takes to make it work. Now … More Are All-in Guys Doing What Comes Naturally for Them?
The more I think about it the more it seems like a significant indicator in the long term success of a relationship is whether or not there is a balance of giving. By that I mean is each partner comfortable with how much they give and also get within the relationship? By this definition staying … More The Balance of Giving
The male Narcissist is a natural predator. He has a built in desire to win so he can maintain his tenuous grasp on superiority. More often than not he is going to go after the easiest prey of all: the unhappily married woman. Let’s face it. At its best marriage is not easy. Marriage … More The Narcissist is a Predator and Married Women are the Prey
I like to separate out those things which are natural human behaviors from those that exist primarily due to cultural influences. Marriage is an interesting one to grapple with. Let’s start with the basics. I think it is natural that two people meet and develop this thing we call “falling in love.” What that is … More How Many Relationships has Marriage Ruined?
One of the reasons I enjoy writing a blog is so often I can just say what I think without doing any rigorous research. Things used to be more that way. Writers like Emerson and Thoreau were just giving us their ideas and even the early psychological speculation from Freud and Jung was just that: … More The Narcissist, The Sociopath and the Nature of Evil
For no particular reason I started thinking about the problem with language the other day and how difficult it is to convey meaning. I think when I first met my Narcissistic ex girlfriend we probably used the same language about what we wanted. We would have both said that we wanted a “close” relationship with … More Words are the problem
It would be easy for a woman to mistake a man that is afraid of commitment for a Narcissist. In fact, a lot of the actions taken by both can be very similar. However, the motivations of each is very different. The phobic is motivated by fear and the Narcissist is motivated by the need … More Don’t Mistake a Commitment Phobe for a Narcissist!
Okay I admit it. I am proud of this title. There is a whole lot there that should inspire some thought. You know. Like what is regular and normal and is someone supposed to make somebody else happy? Well I think about it a lot and I talk about it with guys I know. It … More Can a Regular Guy Make a Normal Woman Happy?
This is a poem by Stanley Kunitz that I can just read over and over. Some find it depressing but I find it to be inspirational and life affirming. To me it says live in the moment and stay true to yourself. Here you go. The Layers BY STANLEY KUNITZ I have walked through many … More Live in the Layers